YOU STUPID FUCK
*shakes fist menacingly*
I will murder your face if I test positive for an STD.
I SWEAR YOU WILL LOSE YOUR GENITALS
And I don't have the car this week. So not only do I need to get a ride to the clinic, but it's going to require a bunch of explanations on who what where when how... Because the only friend of mine who can get me there likes to know these things.
And guess who else is going to know? YOUR GIRLFRIEND. Yeah, I'm down with keeping my mouth shut... but you have crossed the fucking line, man!
"You know, I had a bunch of condoms in my drawer *laughs*"
HAR HAR FUCKING HAR, very fucking funny! I WILL FUCK YOUR MOTHER AND GIVE HER YOUR CHLAMYDIA!
You are so fucking dead.
That guy you fucked a week ago (aka ex-friend)